Love A Little Harder

Love.

How do you define love?

Google defines it as this- "an intense feeling of deep affection" or "to feel a deep romantic attachment to something"

When you think of love what do you think of?





Well, there's romantic love, like the love at first sight displayed in just about every single Nicholas Sparks book ever.

Then there's a friendship kind of love like when you meet this new girl and feel like you just instantly click with them and then poof! You're besties for life... right?

Wrong.

What do all of these definitions of love have in common?

They are all uncontrollable feelings.

Friends, love is so much more than that.

It's so much more than the butterflies that you feel when he opens the car door for you. It's so much more than finding out you and your new friend both hate the same boy so now you can be BFF's. Love is so much more than just a feeling you get when it's convenient. It's so much more than something you just experience when things or relationships are going your way. It's so much more than a best friend, your mom, or even your boyfriend/husband.

Here's my definition of love-

"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

-Romans 5:8

Do you think that was convenient for Jesus? Do you think that he got anything out of it? Do you think he felt those giddy butterflies in his stomach as he was being nailed to a cross and hung to die?

I don't.

Friends, this is love in it's purest form. This is how Jesus calls us to love. He doesn't call us to love when we feel good, when we're happy, and when it's convenient. He calls us to love unconditionally when it's hard. He calls us to love when we are being persecuted on our absolute worst days. Heck he even calls us to love that rude lady from the DMV that Zootopia did a really good job of representing!

But friends, all jokes aside, this is how we are called to love.

Love is not just a feeling. It's a choice.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for out brothers and sisters"

-1 John 3:16

This love is choosing to love our enemies and those who persecute us, but it's also so much more than that. It's choosing to love those that are the closest to us; our boyfriends, our parents, our best girlfriends. Now this might come as a shock to you, but sometimes this kind of love can be the hardest. These are the people that you are closest to and these are the people that you have to choose to love every single day, even the days when your best friend doesn't invite you to go shopping with her, or when your husband forgets that it's your anniversary. 

I'll tell you the best relationship advice that I have ever gotten. This came from my pastors wife in a little coffee shop in the middle of town, in the midst of finals and what I'm sure was a busy week for her as well. She chose to love on me by having this little coffee date in the midst of chaos and by doing so she taught me one of the greatest lessons I've ever learned about love...

"Love is a choice. There is no perfect soul mate. The idea of that is just a false conception of reality that movies and books plant in your head. Your husband, whoever that may be one day, is going to have flaws. He's going to mess up. He's going to yell at you. He's going to have bad days. BUT it is your job to make a conscious decision every morning that you are going to love this man no matter how hard that may seem on that particular day."

That's what love is.

Love is telling your best friend that the guy she's with is not good for her even if that ruins your friendship.

Love is saying your sorry first even if you know you aren't the one in the wrong.

Love is being intentional with new friendships. It's being there for them when they are at their lows even when it isn't convenient for you.

Love is not convenient. Love is not easy. Love is not just a feeling.

Love. Is. A. Choice. 

So here's my challenge to you today. Love a little harder. Go out of your way to show people you care even if it might not be the most convenient thing to do. Go on a coffee date with that friend you haven't caught up with in a while, even if your schedule is crazy. Say good morning to the old lady next door no matter how grouchy she may be. Forgive, apologize, make an effort, and choose to love today.