Welcome to Kaleo

Tonight I found myself sitting alone on the beach in a new place, surrounded by new people, about to start a new job. I may be surrounded by people but I couldn't help but feel a dark loneliness creep in no matter how many times I try to turn the light switch back on.





In case you didn't know, I'm currently in Destin, Florida for a 9-week long Summer Project called Kaleo. Kaleo is all about furthering your faith, planting seeds, and doing major kingdom work.

Like I said, although I am surrounded by awesome God-loving people, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely tonight. I had a few things back home that kept me from leaving at the same time everyone else did. Everyone else showed up on May 25th and went through the crazy journey of figuring everything out and getting into a routine together. I'm sure they all felt just as unsure about everything as I do but then a week later everyone seems to have the hang of it. That's when I showed up.

I arrived to Destin on June 3rd, a full 9 days after everyone else.

I'm the new girl.

And let me tell you... I do not enjoy being the new girl. Does anyone?

I look around and realize that everyone already has their friends and their own little routine and I'm left to figure out what I'm doing on my own. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't completely just thrown out to the wolves. I have lots of leaders and really sweet people trying to help me get used to this newness but it's just not the same when you're the only one actually experiencing the new.

I felt utterly alone. I was trying too hard to get people to like me. I was sacrificing my quiet times to hang out with anyone and everyone who wanted to. I was completely on my own in this journey.

Or so I thought...

I haven't started my job yet so I've had the day to be alone with myself while everyone else has been at work. I was sick and tired of feeling lonely and cooped up in this little condo so I decided to walk down to the beach. I laid my towel out and put my headphones in and while I was staring out at the rolling waves and listening to Lauren Daigle I finally felt calm and at peace for the first time since I arrived in Florida.

The ocean is an amazing thing if you really just look at it. Rolling waves as far as you can see. An incredibly vast amount of life just under that bubbly blue sheet. More creatures than I could ever even think of. Then I got to thinking... God created every drop of water, every grain of sand, every creature under the sea, and me. Not only does he know the amount of sand grains on the beach, and the name of every animal under the water, he knows every aspect of my life.

He knows my struggles. He knows my weaknesses. He knows my innermost thoughts.

And then it hit me...

I'm not alone. I wasn't thrown out to the wolves. I'm okay.

As I was sitting on the beach in awe of Gods glory, power, and love, a little crab scurried by me feet. Although I am no fan of crabs and I may have squealed a tiny bit, it reminded me of a verse...

"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?"

-Matthew 6:26-27

I'm not alone, I was never alone, I will never be alone. 

I may not know what the future holds, I may not have a steady daily routine yet, and I may not have tons of best friends, but I do have Jesus, and if he can provide for a tiny little crab in Destin, Florida, then he can provide for me. He can keep me safe. He can fill the hole that any loneliness could create. He has a plan for me and He will follow through.

Let's just rest in the beauty of that for a minute...

God knows.

He knows what you're going through and He knows what I'm going through and he promises to stay by our side every step of the way.

Although I'm a little overwhelmed, I am not lonely. 

I have no idea what I'm doing, but that's okay.

I don't need to have my life together and I don't need to be confident in myself because that will get me nowhere. I am confident in a loving a God who has great plans for me. To all the of the fears of failure, rejection, and newness, I say bring it on because I serve a God who is prepared for anything and I will boldly proclaim His name as I march forward into this new uncharted territory.

I'm determined that this will be a life-changing Summer that I will never forget.

God is SO good and I can't wait to see where He leads me and how He uses me on this journey. I promise that I will keep you all updated on life at Kaleo throughout the Summer!

-Hannah